Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
