i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
