why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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