she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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