I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
