How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
