i was born a porn star she said
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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