just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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