Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Green mimosas i think yes
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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