Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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