Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
