I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
