Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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