My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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