not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
