she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
