If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
