What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
