Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
