I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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