Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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