I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize