and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Boobs are out for the taking
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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