so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
