You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what day is it and did you see me today?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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