I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
