I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
