$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
