fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just cropdusted the office
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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