And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
