please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
