Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
