Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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