I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize