So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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