We won't sleep together?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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