i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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