So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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