For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
