if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
