i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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