Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
