I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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