Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize