i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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