Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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