Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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