If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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