you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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