bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
