My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Can Purell be used as lube?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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