I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
