i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
