i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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