Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
