Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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