But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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